sight

through vivid dreams
they come...

through moments of despair and hopelessness
they come..

through peace and love
they come..

through my child
they come..

sailing through calm waters
where the moon shines in between
fog and dreams
they come..

messages of
life after death while walking the earth
love to loved ones

anticipating moments of when
sight becomes reality
awkwardly finding its place in my universe.

losing sight
while unsteadily rocking
through life with the constant battle of time

this is a reminder to see
to allow this to be part of me
to open myself up again and be vulnerable
allow them to come
and not be afraid
to speak
when i feel censored
to those who don't believe

to see
to dream
to listen
to move
freely

a blessing or a curse?
a sight of ones own death?
a dream of my child growing inside?
a sight of a love lost?
a dream of messages to be told to the living?
a sight of ones own death?
own...
losing sight so i won't be able to see
completely
afraid of the outcome

allow me to see
fearlessly

birth

I want to dedicate this blog to my asawa, Roderick









5 years ago, Rod was accepted to USF in the School Education for his Educational Doctorate

He went into it knowing that he ultimately wants his own classroom, teaching.
I witnessed the struggle and survival to achieve this goal.
Endless reading, writing and critical thinking.
Working, teaching and starting and raising a family
Finding self over and over again
Redefining self over and over again
along the way mentoring and transforming lives of Pin@y's
especially my own life and our daughters

on February 4th, Rod gave birth to his Dissertation.
Maybe not the same as the real birth of a child
but the painful struggle, constant healing, love and hope of bringing the stories of Pin@ys into academia where they are forgotten. Fusing Critical Hermenutics/Critical Pedagogy/ Memises/Appropriation of Critical Pin@y Educators/Scholars in San Francisco.

each time i was asked to edit and read
i was emotional each time
i saw a transformation in him
writing, thought, analysis, his world view
his growth as a scholar
and how that growth transcends as his role of being a
father
husband
manong
ading
son
friend
brother

This May, he will walk across the stage as Dr. Roderick Daus-Magbual
Manong Rod, is what his students call him
knowing Rod, he is taking his ancestors/families/communities as he crosses that stage
this indeed, is a community graduation

Although we are in a budget crisis and that positions in higher education are being taken away from people of color/critical pin@y scholars and classes are being closed for students
we have a community that will help you get to where you need to be
in a classroom
transforming lives
society
disrupting the system
praxis


critical hope
critical love

inspiration

thank you,
for inspiring other Doctorate students
for inspiring students to achieve their dreams
for your service in the community while being in the academy

Dua

A year since my last post and I'm wondering why I'm not writing anything outside of academia.

A year later, I'm a different person

A year later, my anak is 2
A year later, i'm married to my heart for 3 years
A year later, i'm in my 2nd year of my doctorate program
A year later, i'm finding self with others
A year later, i love harder than before